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1000 Breakfasts With You

by Judge Russell

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1.
heron great and blue flies away to somewhere new all that's gray and dead life exists right at the edge so you don't wanna go back no, you don't wanna go back now that everything has came and went love exists right at the edge so just live, but don't forget you don't wanna go back walmart parking lot has better sunsets than i thought if you were here with me we'd let it sink so silently so you don't wanna go back no, you don't wanna go back now that everything has came and went love exists right at the edge so just live, but don't forget you don't wanna go back
2.
Sunshine 03:11
we drove into city and now i wanna take you out oh, everything out here is dying won't ya come into my house? you want to pull a moses, but i don't really notice you know that i can't focus when i'm around you, dear i'm on another planet i understand and as the sun shines over this corporate mess i look over to you to see you undressed and my whole world feels different since you broke in and changed it up as the sun shines over this torn up land i reach over to you and you squeeze my hand and i lose myself in it like you're infinite i know you're infinite, you're something i can't keep i just want you to stay with me oh i don't know, it's just i've never been this comfortable so if i'm blabbering, just let me know just let me know how you feel cause what i feel is i feel your love roll me around like i'm some lonely star too much gravity to fight so i hopped in my car, filled the world up with garbage the sun shines over new england's best i look over to you to see you undressed and my whole world feels different since you broke in and changed it up as the sun shines over this torn up land i reach over to you and you squeeze my hand and i lose myself in it like you're infinite i know you're infinite, you're something i can't keep i just want you to stay with me
3.
Guardian 05:38
i don't want to lose you i don't think that i'm going to but it's there in the back of my mind, what i'm thinking of what if this new thing's really just the end of our love (guardian angel) finds the words that i've learned uses them to talk (guardian angel) finds the feelings we've dropped as our lives went on i don't want to try to be so free this fall that i lose any reason i had at all oh i've lost some things before like my phone, like my wallet, my keys i walked out the door so when i leave, 'cause i will, just know that when i do the only reason i left is 'cause i need you (guardian angel) finds the words that i've learned uses them to talk (guardian angel) finds the feelings we've dropped as our lives went on i don't want to try to be so free this fall that i lose any reason i had at all
4.
i think it's time to break i'm sick of staring blankly at my phone i've songs i've gotta make turn nothing into something of my own it's like the frozen lake things like that are always waiting to explode except there is no spring to wait for just lives i try to live and ones i won't i love my friends but their lives are bigger than my radius can't XL they make it seem so effortless i'm alone in the street like the stupid kid i am crossing puddles, popping bubbles whatever is sloshing in my boots will probably come out i'm so far from what i want but something tells me that this darkness is the longest i'll be fine i'm sick of waking up to go to sleep and then wake up in your arms then fall asleep again under skies with no stars cause if the moon is high, i can't tell or even notice the passing time we grow old every day and it sucks to try and then fail so we just sit at home and cry popping bubbles, crossing puddles whatever is sloshing in my boots will probably come out i'm so far from what i want but something tells me that this darkness is the longest i'll be fine i'll slip on the ice i'll let the temperature rise i'll never forget you guys
5.
the cold around here comes quick, i know but i can't sleep with closed windows woke up with a headache and a stuffy nose snot clogs up my face like my heart pumps blood to all the wrong places i don't wanna mean nothing to you, babe a distant shore is what i'm waiting for somewhere less lonely, more warm i spent my morning in the shower i'd spent the rest of my life there too but i can't, 'cause it takes work to love you
6.
shimmering leaves under the sky the sun's peeking out from behind your back's flickering light one day the last leaf will fall and then there'll be no autumn at all babe, i know it's wrong to feel so doomed i just think i'm being real 'cause even if that leaf don't fall for 100 years i won't know how to deal with what's in front of us now so let's go to the reservoir and leave all of our clothes on the beach i just want there to be a world for somebody to see when we leave how's our rozsa gonna have a life to live? the world ended when she was just a kid she had no say in it god, we all know that if she did there'd be a whole lot that's different like, she'd care about the world and those kind souls who live in it she knows how dangerous it is to play with the infinite like all of us, kids just wanna live rozsa's in rojava it seems fragile eggs in the basket of my dreams just want there to be a world for somebody to see when we leave she was my age she died fighting for what she believed in if it was my name on the page oh life, how life would be different you know that i care so much but i doubt that's enough
7.
Timeline 01:38
suddenly two years fly by i'm hanging out in this timeline i love you like i love my life in another one who knows if you'd be there the house i live in, the friends i like the crickets chirping, the cool moonlight with different choices, what would it be like? would things be better? or would i be by myself? i'm caught up in fate and i know it's too late to know sometimes i wonder, though time's a void i occupy mistakes laugh like devils smiling successes are hard to find, but your love, babe, is a point of pride three months suddenly are nine i'm two feet planted in this timeline i love you like i love my life in another one i know that you'd be there
8.
Porch Couch 02:38
if i'd lost my memory, i'd not know who i was until i found that part of me and blew off all the dust when my dreams start to feel like dreams, that's when i know i'm fucked real life, from what it seems to me, means ignorance and distrust so i don't wanna make it i want you to make it for me, babe to sing's to stand here naked but watching's easy if i'm off stage so go on, do what you like take risks while you're still young i text you from my office job i clock out, my days done i go home and drink a beer i start to sing your song oh "first i've gotta go my own way" i don't wanna make it i want you to make it for me, babe to sing's to stand here naked but watching's easy if i'm off stage i don't think there really is hope for anyone like us you either make a bunch of bucks, or very quickly turn to dust but it's hope that keeps me up jealousy that brings me down so if there's one thing i'm sure of now it's that you're gonna work it out i know you're gonna work it out i don't wanna make it i want you to make it for me, babe to sing's to stand here naked but watching's easy if i'm off stage, oh watching's easy if i'm off stage, yeah laughing's easy if i'm off stage
9.
somewhere between the start and end of the line she got onto the bus i was one whole bottle of wine in, she must've had just much because at the top of our lungs, we were screaming you know such and such i liked that moment so much next thing i knew i'm stumbling home from the bus stop i sang so loud i hope that it woke all of the old folks up and they thought of long ago when they were stupid and alone like a dog out in the snow hurting itself from the cold but loving how it felt to roll
10.
Map 02:27
i'm not one to talk cause thinking straight's been getting me into a knot i stay quiet while we walk plus the way y'all talk i'm fine listening, so much thinking, so much thought you're kind like wind is cold piercing through my heart no matter how i'm guarded then i yawn let that single tear run down my face look around and wait there used to be a map that laid before me, but now all i see is black no points of interest to hit on my winding path my dad's beside me saying, "what's so wrong with that?" christ this wind is cold i think that i'm so smart how much have i discarded? so now i'm lost i wandered around harlem in the dark my brain's gotta get closer to my heart
11.
1000 breakfasts with you and sleeping until noon under the rising moon streams we dip our feet into the hot nights are so long but weeks start, then they're gone i'm not trying to make you blue but like the leaves i'm leaving soon laughing hard and long with you arak drunk egyptian ratscrew hayden's swimming somewhere new why not go? it's something to do in your arms all the night through dreaming about lili's food or yusef's, or H2 driving 'round as the valley cools a trip to maple farms with you one more breakfast or two yeah, coffee, eggs, and fruit happy just to sit with you

credits

released January 1, 2020

1000 breakfasts with you was recorded at home in Amherst, MA and Sandy Hook, CT in 2019, and written, performed, and recorded by Judge Russell with the assistance of

Alex MacLean: production, drums, guitar, bass, vocals, mastering
Dawson Goodrich: production, mixing
Hayden Fisher: production (on track 6)
Ciara Connolly: drums (on track 4 and 9)
Eliza Young: vocals (on track 1)

this record is dedicated to Ariya Sonethavy

special thanks to everyone listed above, my mom & dad & my siblings, my housemates on 72 montague, Anna Ben-Hur, and Aaron Mack.

cover photo taken by Anna Ben-Hur on Mt. Desert Island in Maine in July 2019 and edited by Ariya Sonethavy
insert photos taken by Judge Russell and Meredith Marciano

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Judge Russell Brooklyn, New York

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